this is how i feel. exactly like the picture... i seriously don't know what's wrong with me. why am i keep doing this? hating him for doing that to her in the past? or finding him irritated. i really don't know. these few days kept raining. making me feel so blue.. seriously i wasted my holidays. should have go overseas to relax myself and come back with a fresh new me. but what am i doing at home? seating in front of my laptop watching videos everyday. sleeping till afternoon. my days are like eat, shit, sleep. except dance for some days.

arghhhh!!!!!!!! i seriously don't know what I'm typing now. i just feel like typing. but don't know what i should type. playing games, watching videos, going to facebook or blogging and blog shopping, neither one of them interest me now! my life is so boring now. study(when school re-opens), dance and sleep... i think this will become my life for the rest of the days....

arghhhhh! don't know lah. sorry to crap all this rubbish here. just ignore me.

Today went to sent my brother off for his NS (National Service) with parents and aunt at the Basic Military Training Centre (BMTC) in Pulau Tekong. trained over to Pasir Ris as there will be shutter bus bringing us over to the SAF Ferry Terminal where we will then take the ferry to Pulau Tekong. had to depart with brother after stepping a few steps into the centre. meanwhile, we the family members will be going on a tour guided by the BMTC commanders. going in to their bunks, their training places etc. not much amazing to me cause SP brought me to SISPEC the last time where i was briefed with the latest army info. went into the hall to where everyone will be briefed on who is their son's company officer, commanders etc are, the mission, values and some introduction of the school. most importantly, witnessing the proudest moment of the ceremony where all the enlistees will read out their enlistment pledge. after the ceremony, we had our lunch with brother before he officially say goodbye to us. chatted and enjoyed our lunch at their cookhouse. enlistees were called to gather and waved goodbye to us and off they go to their NS life. I think the SAF has done a pretty good job – with the colourful brochures, slide shows and walkabout to see the impressive facilities; and even hosted a lunch in the cookhouse – at reassuring the parents.

i think going NS to guys means an official grown up from a BOY to a MEN!! a MEN who will keep his love ones, family, friends and country safe. a MEN who carries their responsibilities. a MEN who is willing to sacrifice himself to protect the country. it will be a fresh new page of their life and I'm sure it will be a memorable and proud one for them! and i believe, my great brother will become a MEN where my family can rely on after his 2years NS journey.

it's 10.30p.m. now. lights off for the enlistees.. goodnight brother^-^

ahhhh!!!!!!!!1 went to dental today!! I'm so scared!!! trained down to Marsiling with mom and walked to Woodlands Poly Clinic. went up to level 3 and register for my appointment. waited awhile and it's my turn! i never know that my tooth is in a bad condition. had decay tooth and the dentist treated one of it as there is limited time for per appointment. the progress is so torturing. had LA injection at my gum so i don't really feel pain through the process. but is when the doctor uses the cold equipment and drill/ spray on my tooth, it's very pain as i have sensitive tooth. could only bear with the pain and try hard to open wide my jaws. the numb injection last about 3hours plus. 70% of my upper lips and my left nose is numb. but I'm so hungry that i went to lunch. had porridge, fish and luncheon meat. i could only swallow the food than bite then into small pieces. at that moment, i feel that I'm a old lady who is without tooth eating my lunch. i keep drooling and i can't speak normally cause i can't feel my lips. hahahas. still got 2 more appointment and they falls on next year. hahhas. hope my tooth won't worsen. after that home sweet home......

today is grandma's birthday. aunt organized a birthday celebration at her house this evening. dad and i went over first to see what we can help with the preparation. but in fact, when we reached, there was nothing i can help but to seat down at the sofa and accompany my grandma watch TV program. dad left first as he has something on during the night. so left me and grandma seating at the living room watching TV program. it's time to set the tables at around 7p.m. and hence i lend a hand to help them lay out all the dishes and rice. big aunt, cousins, mom and bother arrived and started our dinner. aunt's cooking improves alot! had our Hainanese food for dinner. yum yum!! hahhas. after i had my meal, i went into the kitchen to find Yati and chatted with her. hahahas. then, aunt asked me to take out Chin Chow Drink from the frigde and serve it to the rest. so me and Angela (cousin) started washing the cups, putting in ice etc and served the drinks. uncle then played some pictures and videos through the TV. OMG!! those videos are taken long long ago!! i think they were taken when i was still in lower primary. hahahas. so long. seeing my silly actions with brothers and cousin, it really makes me laugh and remember that i actually have this lovely childhood that i almost forgot!! uncle really did a great job!! he recorded all our childhood memories, family and relatives. how hard to hear the laughters of those who are gone. all thanks to the video, i can see my grandfather again! seeing him smile etc! really really glad that uncle had them recorded down!! halfway through the video appreciation, it's time to sing a birthday song for grandmother, as well as uncle and two cousins who had their birthdays around the corner. had cheese brownie cake. yummy!! the cake is very rich!! so cannot eat too much. hahahas. and then follow by durians!!! cousin bought 8 D24 durians and opened them up. was really starve at that time. hahahsa. but still managed to eat some. cause, i love durians!! haahhahs. after that, continued to watch the videos and home sweet home!!!