失望。。

事情早已成定局，现在后悔也来不及了。早知今日，又何必当初呢？

近日来，我发现自己越来越懒惰。就连同学也这么认为。

自己的定性，专注力，坚决性比起以前，现在差很多。

实在太放纵自己了，完全捉不住也控制不住自己。

成天发明星梦，当一个全职的舞蹈员，等等等。。。

但发现我一直以来都在原地踏步，就连一小步都没往前踏过。

自己往往因为担心会受到挫折而不敢勇于去尝试。

这样我哪里会有进步呢？

譬如舞蹈好了，经过多年来的训练下，我发觉自己根本没有什么太的进步。

学业也是年年处在退表演的状态。

就拿这次的考试成绩来说吧，这次实在推不到不行。

我心想，这次我该怎么保住我的三？

明明一直告诉自己要加把经！

要努力为维持成绩或有所进步，就算小小的进步也会很欣慰。

但是我却什么都没做到~

我太放纵自己了。

真的该是时候争做起来，做出一番成绩给自己看。

而不是象现在在这里吐露心事。

希望这是我最后一次对自己做这样的检讨。。。

Ballerina - Polina Seminova

she's Polina Seminova. The ballerina that i adore a lot. She's really talented. How i wish i can be like her. But, it's impossible.....(>.<)

Polina Semionova, born in Moscow in 1984, is a classical ballet dancer and Principal with the Berlin State Opera. She is regarded as a Prima Ballerina and is one of the youngest dancers to achieve this particular kind of recognition.

Studying at the Bolshoi Ballet School in Moscow, Russia, she won awards in the top ballet competitions; including a gold medal at the Moscow International Ballet Competition 2001, First Prize at the Vaganova-Prix Ballet Competition in St Petersburg 2002, and Junior Prize at the Nagoya (Japan) International Ballet Competition 2002.

Graduating in 2002, Semionova joined the Ballet Staatsoper Berlin as a principal upon the invitation of Vladimir Malakhov, becoming the youngest principal in the company's history at the age of 18. She toured Japan as Malakhov's partner, the reason he had invited her to be a principal in the company. He gave her the lead roles in The Nutcracker and La Bayadère during her first season, following with the role of Tatiana in Onegin, which became her favourite role.

In 2003, at the age of 19, Polina performed with the English National Ballet in Swan Lake, receiving approving reviews from English critics. The following year she joined the California Ballet in their production of The Sleeping Beauty, again impressing critics despite what they termed a disappointing overall ballet.

Appearing in Herbert Grönemeyer's music video "Demo (Letzter Tag)", which was later uploaded to the popular video site YouTube, brought her into the public eye both in the dance community and to the general public.

Polina is one of the featured artists on EuroArts DVD "Divine Dancers Live from Prague", in which she dances a pas-de-deux from the ballet "Manon".

大野一雄

大野一雄-October 27, 1906 – June 1, 2010

Kazuo Ohno, a Japanese dancer who became a guru and inspirational figure in the dance form known as It was written of him that his very presence was an "artistic fact."
He passed away on June 1, 2010, at 4.38pm (jst), in Japan Yokohama Sen-in Hoken Hospital in Yokohama due to respiratory failure, at the age of 103.

Ohno was born in Hakodate City, Hokkaido Prefecture, Japan, on October 27 in 1906. He demonstrated an aptitude for athletics in junior high school and graduated from an athletic college in 1929, teaching physical education at a Christian high school. In 1933, Ohno began studying with Japanese modern dance pioneers Baku Ishii and Takaya Eguchi, which qualified him to teach dance at the Soshin Girls' School in Yokohama (from where he retired in 1980.)

In the 1950s, Ohno met Tatsumi Hijikata, who inspired him to begin cultivating Butoh, a new form of dance evolving in the turmoil of Japan's drab postwar landscape. Hijikata, who developed with Ohno and a collective group the vocabulary of movements and ideas that later, in 1961, he named the Ankoku Butoh-ha movement.

During the 1960s, Ohno sought his own style, while collaborating with Tatusmi Hijikata. In 1977, he premiered his solo La Argentina Sho [Admiring La Argentina], directed by Hijikata and dedicated to the famed Spanish dancer Antonia Mercé (known as "La Argentina," whom he had seen perform in 1926.) He received Japan's prestigious Dance Critics' Circle Award for the performance and subsequently toured the piece, impacting the international dance world from the 14th International Festival at Nancy, France, in 1980, to his American debut in 1981 at La Mama E.T.C. in New York City. Other cities on the tour included Strasbourg, London, Stuttgart, Paris and Stockholm.

His words:

“舞蹈是发自舞着内在的体现，所以舞者必须时时刻刻都以最真实，最深沉的形态生活”

“无须太多思考，用你的灵魂跳踏”

--大野一雄

STRUGGLING

I'm so not doing anything. wasting my day like this and not studying. getting up late from bed and skipping lessons become normal to me.... whats happening. I'm getting from bad to worse! exam is coming in just less than 60hours. and yet i still haven't start with anything. this year seems to be so tired and unpredictable for me. things are getting harder. more and more obstacles. and they are getting tougher to overcome.

again, i started to wonder. what is it the life of becoming a dancer. what will i be doing now if i chose another route, a route towards dancing. am i going the wrong way now or am i just taking a longer route as compared to the others. i wonder~